Joe is a total sociopath, I'm going to hook up with him tonight
So just talked to them hahah i like that people sat there and watched as you two made out... They said they even had to refill their beers
I've walk of shamed through this apartment complex so many times, I think people think I live here.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
Well girls crying gets you hard so you're not really a good standard to me
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
I found him in the kitchen singing German metal into a banana while simultaneously mixing brownie batter. He didn't have any pants on.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
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