Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
I woke up on the side of the highway to the ppl in orange jumpsuits cleaning to comunity service. Not sure which freaked them out more... Finding a dead b ody or me not being dead
bought some hannah montana deodorant. hope it doesnt make me smell untalented
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I can't be the first person ever who had to explain why her bottle of orange juice had a picture of a screwdriver drawn on it
I think I just found part of a tooth on my bed... What goes on in here?
you puked on the porch, i can see your jacket on the floor next to your underwear. i know your home, unchain the door, you're the worst roommate ever.
dude, i just accidentally flashed your mom. BIG TIME.
Let's play "Guess What I Just Found In My Vagina?"
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
I'm going to tell you a beautiful word.
Fellatio.
His butt is perfect. Like a twelve on a scale of one to ten. No idea about his personality or anything but that ass... I'm keeping him.
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