Have fun with your cool freestyling girlfriend!
She can rap better than you any day
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
i spent 45 minuets spilling my heart out to him telling him i was in love with this other guy sorry. when i was done he asked me to give him a blow job. i did. i have commitment problems
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
No. I think its because I really and truly know that he is a moron and his future prospects are zoo animals.
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
Jenn from HR called him the new office boy toy. I think I need to bathe in bleach.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
11:30 and people are pissing in the sink. It's gonna be a good night.
Randomize
