you kept running around the room with a flask shouting "so much room for activities!" then someone tripped you and you passed out
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
as we waited for a manager to come open the door that we broke while having sex on the wall, we decided to go round two in the hallway before he came back.. god i love hotels.
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
This is actually a pretty big deal for him. I mean, he contacted a stranger out of concern for someone else instead of for sex.
That does show growth.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I can't feel my clothes. I'm convinced I'm naked
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
Young lesbians are the worst. And also what got me through high school, sooooo
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
So I'll be starting a scrapbook from all the mugshots of the guys I've slept with
We should probably start extreme couponing for the morning after pill.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
Randomize
