I don't know what you were told but i for sure didn't sleep with any one but steve's couch.
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
So when we opened his headboard we found a bottle of crisco sitting on top of his porn magazines.
I guess we all know what he was cookin.
We got a party bus for the nite. I found out the hard way why stripper poles are meant for girls.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Bonding with my year old cousin over the fact that we both shit ourselves. Babysitting like a bosss
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
I looked the guy across the room straight in the eyes and said, "If you were any closer to me, we'd be making out right now."
Topless dodge ball cldnt top that
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
I mean, we were all drinking, but I'm pretty sure kidnapping came up.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
