I think I just saw the travelocity gnome in leather chaps.
dont quote avril lavinge. im to drunk.
I hate this i feel like im wasting my youth here. I should be off hooking up with boys around the world and having awkward next morning convos in different languages!!
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
I think he thought he was a gentleman because he bought me the most expensive plan b at cvs
When the cops knocked on the door, he just knocked back and announced "house keeping"
Just woke up to the best idea ever. Vodka infused BUTTER. Take a second, and think of the possibilities.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Got high with dad and hunted squirrels in the basement. Is this seriously what my life has come to?
Apparently I'm short enough to sit on his lap and fuck him while he is driving because the cop didn't notice.
And my coffee table looks like something out of Scarface
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
I feel like it's the kind of place that would appriciate my Aladdin vest
Randomize
