I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
I woke up fully clothed on top of my sheets and i didnt even pee myself..so proud.
She said she had a thing for dinosaurs. Come get me now
i couldnt tell she was wearing a bumpit until she started giving me head
dinner with the girl I motorboated last semester wasn't as awkward as I thought it would be
thanks for being the calm eye of my shit storm.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
i want to have awesome sex and feel fuzzy.
It's the best! If I had one wish it would be for life to be one really long gay porno. Thats what I wish for during every 11:11.
FYI you are now my emergency contact at plan parenthood
To be honest, waking up to 20 naked people in my house was not the weirdest thing to happen to me in the past 24 hours
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
