Omg. Just talked to a semi driver from nebraska. Got her truck stuck. Gave her and her riding buddy a glass of vodka and a cig. YES.
Who keeps a bong in their car??
Kids who graduated high school two weeks ago.
her lazy eye was starring daggers at me.
so they made cookies with their faces printed on them...I ate jaime...she tasted like poop
wrong asian. never thought that would happen.
i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
I don't like getting sloppy drunk but I don't like getting just half drunk either, I'm way too responsible if my blood alcohol level is below 0.2
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
i feel like every weekend turns into a giant blur of i dont want to know...
I possibly am a tad bit not really but maybe slightly intoxicated.
He sang the chorus to “Inside of you” by Russel Brand in Forgetting Sarah Marshall as he proceeded to not pull out...
Honestly? I wouldn’t even be mad, that probably took talent
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