we're at Rob's house and just invented the best drinking game ever....we are on Chatroulette and everytime we see a dick we all have to drink.
Wearing the BK Crown on the throne while dropping the kids off at the pool? Yes, one of my life's goals. Win
I am sitting on the floor by my oven watching my cookie dough blossom. This is a whole new level of fat
I want to fuck you with a popsicle till it melts then eat it out of you
Really.
Dude. He only had one testicle. It was like his whole package was a Muppet Show character coming at me.
someone just sent me a bong wrapped in christmas paper in the mail. signed 'santa'.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I walked into my house with my pants inside out, no shoes and a limp. My mom asked me if I had fun but I passed out before I could reply...
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
Whatever. I'll take my new fine ass dick sucking nails elsewhere.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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