At what point did we cease to have vaginas?
Sometime in the sweat pants phase freshman year.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
He gave his mom his old phone, and I am SO paranoid
Did you send adult things?
Um. Yes would be the understatement of the year
my roommate and her friend got reaallllly high last night and it looks like they played scrabble. one of their words is "nippal"
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
She just drank the vanilla extract. Again. AGAIN. No one should be that eager to get drunk.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
I woke up with hair in my teeth and half his beard was missing.
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
You may want to re-read your sent texts from last night. You were texting me about your "fire shits" spelled 6 different ways between 3 and 5:30 AM.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
Randomize
