In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
I developed a drinking game for WoW. Everytime I die, I take a shot.
Please get laid.
Hey for future reference vodka can not be substituted for water when shaving your legs
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
He bought me Ben & Jerrys and then apologized for the fact that he was going to fall asleep before we could have sex
Should I tell him the real reason I was in the hospital, or should I just keep him thinking the side effect he thought was in for was allergy related, not I just miscarried the child I didn't know we were having?
eta to your mouth 5 minutes
It was fun, but I mean, any day that starts with shower tequila is bound to be good.
All i'm saying is it doesn't matter how drunk you were, at 26 years of age you should always remember to take down you pants before you shit in the toilet
I have a diplomatic trade for you. My pants for your rum. Tomorrow?
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
And by "have lunch together" you mean me giving you a blow job in the back of your Tahoe, right?
how did i manage to wake up with my bra on backwards?
Randomize
