She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
What happened on tuesday that a stripper knows my full name?
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
remind me not to fuck anymore half bald 20 year olds. because obviously there's attachment issues
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
donating our bodies to science does not justify what were doing to them.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
Just stepped off the plane in St. Louis. I'm breaking out in hives, I'm allergic to Midwesterners. Can't WAIT to get the fuck out of here.
Your rough animalistic sex sounds are disrupting my cocktail hour
I got home at 1 am on a weeknight with lube in my hair. I'd say it was a successful first date.
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
oh you can't commit, don't have any real ambitions, and love to drink PBR? well.... sign me up!
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
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