it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
This whole living in Ohio thing is getting reaaaaallly old.
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
How do I carry myself in a way that says "I swallow"?
so you ordered business cards online last night with a picture of your dick on them. you need to hide that new credit card when you drink
I see you listening to my get shitfaced playlist on spotify. glad we're on the same page tonight there's a drink waiting for you downstairs.
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
Lies! You took my virginity, and now my cigarettes!
As a gift to myself for being so awesome at being single, I'm going to buy a vibrator
Stacy lit a fart and burn half of the couch down before we can put the Flames out. Bring your truck.
High school drama coach is wasted and wanted me to tell you that I’m good at flip cup and you should be very proud of me
Where the hell are you
Randomize
