Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Last night was def like the makeout party episode of full house
If it makes you feel better he went down on me when i had a yeast infection.
You were offering to spell people's name for a dollar.
I'm pretty sure blacking out is a coping mechanism.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I've been called an asshole for a lot of things in my life, but I never thought it would be because of potatoes
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I just lit a blunt like right in front of an old man and I was like sir please shieldeth your eyes
if you're the one who put those dollar bills in my bra last night, thank you because I just used that money to get myself a coffee
I JUST NEEDED TO TELL YOU I JUST FUCKED TWO BOYS IN THE SPAN OF LIKE THREE HOURS AND ONE OF THEM WAS MY SISTERS PROM DATE FROM HIGH SCHOOL IM LOWKEY BOTH PROUD AND ASHAMED
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