Fine. I'll sleep in my office
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
I knew something was wrong when santa got arrested
if im not pregnant im gonna be so pissed for spending the money from my weed fund on the test
wow, a mother in the making
Jerry just sent me this: IOR GHIT ALL THE BUTTIB. Go get him. Now.
Hahahaha you would not believe what I just pulled out of my vagina. Actually you probably wouldn't be surprised.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Really? I thought your parents stopped loving you when you drunkenly fell through the ceiling...
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
I think I just scared the sex out of my booty call. He saw me at the grocery store using one of those "future mother" parking spots right next to the handicap ones. He just made eye contact and drove off. I regret my laziness.
Randomize
