yo im tryna cop a beej tonight
I don't think he has that. His apartment was pretty much a tv and a bed. Topless girl calendar and a glass of water to put out cigarettes.
Did we both pass out talking about cake last night?
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
He wanted me naked, so I got naked. You can't hold that against me.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
If I come back tomorrow to find a certain football player tied up and locked in your closet, shit's gonna get real.
I'll set him free tomorrow morning ;)
I woke up to my one night stand and he said, "now that's the one to beat"
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
Like a gentleman I waited until you were done vomming to start my Big Mac.
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
The prescription the hospital gave me for pain and nausea doubles for my hangovers... Maybe I'll hit up the ER more often
I want you inside me. Finish your papers.
Randomize
