can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
It was the classiest, most strategic and inspired vomiting I've ever witnessed. Like a blind mans first sunrise. A priests first prayer. Or a virgins first orgasm.
he's just a really huge penis that sells weed
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up with bruises on the back of my knees. Tell me again how I did this?
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
I haven't seen her in probably 3 months and when she showed up wasted to my house she promptly pulled out her tit
It bothers me when I see my old fuck buddies starting families on Facebook.
But I am still fully ok with my life choices as long as the consequences aren't onesies and pacifiers
my goal is to never have a bac of 0.0 the whole time while in the state of florida, which means i have to chug a beer before i cross the state line
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