You know how britney does the hair flip too much in her new videos? Thats me right now
you sent me 5 happy birthday texts last night. one after the other. spelled differently.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
Yea. But u kept saying "as long as she doesn't have aids" so I was concerned
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
Fine then. I'll just do all this coke on my own this weekend and die. It'll be strictly your fault.
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
My bed is full of blood and feathers
But you've got to admit , for how blackout I was I look fucking unreal in those pictures
This number has temporarily been disconnected and will be restored to service once you get rid of you girlfriend.
Like theyre better than no shoes. I'm sitting her balls naked playing xbox in nothing but crocs with the fur
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Randomize
