I have the sudden urge to buy a Snuggie and wear it to the grocery store.
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
You realize it's finals week?
Ya that's the school's fault. St. Patrick's day came first.
My Grampa even called her out for being a cock block at the bar...it was that serious
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
did you really just send me an instagramed dick pic?
The only thing I remember is doing a toddlers and tiaras dance routine onstage. I fucking CURTSIED.
OMG stop. Pretty feet? Sparkle baby!
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
Just a warning... Flip, sip, or strip always ends in all participants being naked. Learning from experience.
Also, I just realized you seduced me while in a batman onesie... Well done, sir. Well done.
Will you bring a case of beer down to the hot tub? Me and Phil don't want to feel feelings anymore
Vasectomy results are in. No swimmers in the water. REPEAT. No swimmers in the water. Come help me harness my new found super-power
That's not "anything", that's you deep throating a mozzarella stick.
Guy peeing and puking at the same time in the women's restroom? So impressed that I can't be offended
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