I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
I blacked out the second time 3am rolled around. My brain was taking a beating trying to do that math.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
Spending my graduation money on an abortion. Welcome to the real world.
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Don't make it weird, I don't think about you when I'm climaxing, it's just that I see you rooting me on.
Friend date it is then. Question: Can friends engage in sexual activities after dates?
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
no. i discovered the *exact* amount of drugs i need to do to understand calculus.
Nope. Flying out tonight. Staying with my great aunt who is an ex nun turned hostel owner. Best and likely most dangerous St. Patty's Day to commence in 10 hours. IRELAND!
Be safe. And I hate you.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
I will be single by the day my lease is up (234 days). Plan accordingly.
The front camera on the 5S is SO much better. This is great development for my international sexting.
Our office went out together for the first time to celebrate the fact our coworker got fired.