so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
21 NSFW Facts About Famous Celebrities That Will Blow Your Mind
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'll put lettuce on them
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
I saw an Asian dude carrying a patchwork denim purse get into a car with two rednecks at the grocery store tonight. Imagine what I could have seen if I had actually done something interesting.
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
These Are 19 of the Most Horrible Strangers People Had to Sit Next to
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I wish the guy I was sleeping with wasn't on house arrest.
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
MILK DIDN'T HELP. IT'S NOT HELPING
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.