I had new employee orientation at the YMCA today. I showed up with a hangover, a black eye, scratches down my arm, and a sore throat from puking gin and keystone.
you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
Security brought me back to our hotel room in a wheelchair last night. Vegas.
And if you ever tell anyone that I will fucking kill you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
dude to be honest with you there is a used condom that ive just left on my floor for three days
you have got to get your shit together
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
She told me she's into girls now. I told her there would be a full bottle of jäger and an empty bed here Friday.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night I was this close to hooking up with someone called "Handjob Pat" dubbed for the time he paid $150 for a handjob in Canada.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
After the 2nd person threw up, you told us that your 'mint shooters' were just shots of mint mouthwash
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
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