i'm not sure what happened. i know i woke up on the floor of his bathroom, then had morning sex with him. dont remember getting to his apt. dont remember much.
morning sex?... maybe not a total mistake then? he seems like a normal person, so rare at BU
oh no, he's far from normal. i know his high school girlfriend. she's CRAZY. and he definitely deals prescription drugs. also. he had sex with me even though i slept on his bathroom floor.
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
There are 9 condoms on my bed either i met the greatest girl ever last night or something horrible has happened.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
lets be honest. she's not NEARLY as much fun to fb creep since she got out of rehab...
I woke up to an email from Groupon for 3 laser lipo treatments...on Valentine's Day...way to kick me when I'm down Groupon.
Apparently I was so drunk I threw my entire wallet at the stripper on stage. That was the third time I should've gotten kicked out.
Dropping the entire last roll of TP into the toilet is a hurt you don't want to know.
I think the closest to heaven you can get in this world is your morning dump after a night of Molly
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
Oh Jesus. Are you going to the hospital?
No I'm showering then leaving for Vegas
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
Randomize
