totally poinked my lawyers daughter in his hot tub last night. i figure getting off is just compensation for not getting me off.
He is like the real live version of the state fair..
Life's too short to consider the larger psychological underpinnings of my lust.
I think hes settled down now. He's just licking the walls and the windows.
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Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
A whole bunch of large men eating Doritos just knocked on my door and asked if they could take out my trash?
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
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We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
moral of the story: if your going to mix ambien and free skyclub alcohol, take a direct flight or have a layover in a city you wouldn't mind having to return to for a court date.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I don't know what it is about this quarantine, but I have never written this much smutty fanfic in my life and I am loving it!
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