got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
Its like im going on a blind date, but ive already had sex with her
just walked past a group of stoners who were staring open jawed in the spice aisle. tonight they will stumble upon something amazing.
So, I picked up my 7 ft tall lamp post and used it to close my door. I feel quite accomplished.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
It's fine...I've done worse things to better people.
I love THIS fish, the rest of the ocean can go fuck itself. I am ahab and he is my whale
Filthy. I need to be power hosed with holy water.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
Randomize
