i either just vomited on a lesbian or a small boy
i totally forgot about the coupon that said i would show him how i pleasure myself.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
I just saw a girl on crutches doing a walk of shame. She is either super dedicated, or her night didn't go as planned.
Glow parties are what I live for
Your priorities in life astound me
How the fuck am I supposed to enjoy a third ice day from school if I only bought enough alcohol for 2?
I don't know, maybe act like an adult who teaches children for a living
It's like we're not even friends
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Oh and it took quite a bit of doing, but I managed to wipe my butt with the hat you left in my car
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Randomize
