I have to start avoiding pregnant women. This is getting out of hand.
Steve is enlightening me on how and why u put gerbils up your ass
My mom just bought me $200 worth of booze on the condition that I promise I won't have to go to rehab eventually
you told me your penis was albino and it couldnt be exposed to light so you needed to keep it in me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
WHEN DID YOU SAY YOU COME BACK BC I GOT INVITED TO A KEG WAR PARTY
He said he was gonna go pull a lochte and the next thing we know he's outside ass naked peeing in the neighbors kiddie pool.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
I'm still working on figuring out my birthday blowjob schedule. I'd love to just have all three of them get in there but I get the feeling they wouldn't like that.
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
If I don’t find a quality dick soon I’m going to beg the neighbor for another threesome with her and her husband. It’s like Covid killed all the quality penis Vegas normally has
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