is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
It seems like every guy I've hooked up with all end up hanging out together, its like a cult.
You left me on the phone while you grabbed a plastic bag and started puking. I recorded it. Its my new ringtone for you
I cooked you Mac and cheese when I was drunk and drugged. That counts for about 4 meals. Try harder
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You said that you were drinking out of a pan, and then went on to apologise to 'Jesus and all the other guys' for drinking on a Sunday.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Getting drunk before noon on a Tuesday. When did this become my life? Did you know that a six-pack of Smirnoff is 2 liters?
Dude you were tripping so badly we put a pretend box around your head and you spoke silently for the rest of the night. I think pterodactyls were involved.
We are there now. They have a giant cock and balls with an eagles face and wings.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hi please disregard the last text and if you'd like our entire interaction
Done
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
The moment when you and your BFF compare frequently used emojis and realize you have similar mental disorders and a really weak alibi.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
We'll just play naked Twister, the rest will take care of itself
Randomize