If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
Nobody needs to come anywhere. Except on your face.
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
You better wipe the dick of your lips before you come smoke this blunt.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
His grandpa picked him up. Brought him to the house. And made him clean the puke off the driveway with a broom and a bucket of water.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
Do you know how many guys' fantasies I've been told I'm a part of lately?!
Just 2. But still.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
I'm like, not good at living.
She puked off the side of the cruise ship onto a newlyweds balcony table and they watched it all happen then they made her clean it up
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
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