You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
i want tt clbm rinabw nd ride uncrn
what?
i wnt tto climb a rainboww and ride a unicornnnnnnnnn
Do you need a place to sleep? Cause I fucked in the guestroom a few weeks ago and never washed the sheets. But if you don't care neither do I.
in a garage, wearing a toga, theyre debating the logistics of Coke Pong. If I don't make it out of here... it was me who stole your Barbie in the 4th grade- I've never forgiven myself.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
With a few pieces of metal and duct tape and a bong was created
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
For a man with no legs he was surprisingly good at doggy style.
I don't know whether to high-five you or stage an intervention.
I don't intentionally mean to ruin relationships for personal gain but. Yeah nah I totally do.
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
Like he was trying to be sexy but he had shit taste in porn so i left
5 seconds ago I had no idea that a fart could travel so fastly thru the tanning bed. I taste it in the back of my neck.
When you called me I said did you make it home. You said yeah. Then you said you didn't know where you were. I said you were at home and you said but where. I said you are in the bathroom. Then you said oh, you're so smart lol
Randomize
