Are you dead
Yes
Oh man
Someone fed me too many chicken nuggets and sexed me too hard
I got so drunk I pissed the bed last night. He still likes me. He's a keeper
He is a keeper. You on the other hand are not.
Well maybe next time you won't tell me to do whatever I want.
just printed 333 ways to get kicked out of wal-mart. hello thursday night.
We had a complete conversation while I was giving him head, at one point he even stopped me and said 'I love how we're just hanging out.'
Who just wakes up in their own bed and assumes "I probably blew some guy last night"
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
It would only make sense that I'd cheat on him with his best friend on the ides of march...
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
I had to ask him for a dick pic. Do you know how refreshing that was?
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
If everything else in my life fails, at least I just had one of my top orgasms
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
Randomize
