I'm at the psychiatrist, and this lady is crazy.. she keeps yelling about how her HMO insurance gave her breast cancer? Adderall isn't worth this.
he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
I cant help but queef when the male extremity enters
What is a male extremity?
i didnt realize it was that long since you've had sex
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
There is a bruise on my cock the size of a golfball. Bad sign.
he's totally gay but hes wondering what hes missing out on. Im going to show him.
no pressure.
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
If its possible to have a hickey on your nipple, I have one. Thank you.
I need to be drunk within 15 minutes of getting home tonight.
She asked how comfortable I was with her while we were in the shower. She then proceeded to pee in said shower.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
They think I'm one of them. I'm about to get drunk in a Santa suit and bust down the door singing Christmas carols.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
Randomize
