Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
I think her nose is broken... but I think she's just drunk enough to fall for the whole "sex releases endorphins, so it'll feel better" line.
Lindsay lohan: road to jail is on E tonight. Bring vodka we are not missing an opportunity to make a drinking game out of this
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
I'm doing this for my boobs. They miss him.
YOU COME FROM SAD WHALE FAMILY, DEEP IN OCEAN!
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I genuinely attribute some of my blowjob skills to playing saxophone in highschool
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
He's ready to settle down, whereas I'm like "More shots please"
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
The fact that you cheered yourself on while you puked saying it was your first college puke, blacked out, and sang taylor swift to the toilet confirms the fact that we are related. I've never been more proud.
Randomize
