I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
Because if the best sex I've ever had was with a gay guy, then God help me.
I'm making you a bingo card for hookups of the school year 2011-12 so you can make even worse life decisions next year
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
White grape blunt wraps are like the equivalent of a glass of wine in a tux.
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
I don't think that calm, have their shit together people actually exist.
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
YOU'D BE LIKE A MERMAID! I'll bring you coffee filters to cover your tits.
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