If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
She asked to borrow my chapstick then said "I promise I won't get herpes on it"
were talking about masturbation in my pysc class. He says it's healthy. I'm gonna live forever
i just witnessed two asians having sex for the first time ten feet away from me..hes having a seizure..what the duck is going on???
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
Just had a dream about an abnormally large bottle of tequila. No more depressed drinking for me.
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
I broke her handcuffs. I feel like an animal.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Instead of texting me to come over, she just sends me a batman symbol.
I don't care if she's a booty call. Marry her.
Randomize
