peeing in bathroom at penn station and the homeless man next to me is combing his beard with a fork...god I love new york
What?? I'm covered in blood at the hospital, I atleast deserve a pic of someones boobs
who knew that a girl that let me piss on her within 20 minutes of meeting her would get upset i couldn't remember her name.
Just woke up with 34 slim-jims in my pocket. Too afraid to check the others.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I bought this skirt with every intention to have it wrapped around my tits by the end of the night. So, I'm not a whore. I'm a self-fulfilling prophecy.
Its gonna be a symphony of fucks
Our sex bag has now been upgraded to sex luggage, with wheels, and now features a first aid kit. Game. On.
Idk. I was speaking metaphorically. Go for it. As one of your bad decisions, I feel confident in saying you've done worse.
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
just woke up on a lounge chair wearing a durag and holding burrito wrappers in my hands
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
The night they met I slept with both of them. Of course I'm best man.
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