your horoscope this morning...very interesting...good luck today
dude i was like still drunk, taking pictures of her while she was naked and asleep and she woke up
haha what'd she say
i don't know man, something about us dating. but i never talked to her sober so i said i was making breakfast and snuck out of her house. close calls man WTF
I left a bag of circus animal cookies in my car all day. they melted together into on giant cookie. this could either be the best or worst thing ever
so when I got there he was dressed as jesus in a recliner drinking whiskey out of the bottle watching spanish porn. Then kept shouting dont judge me or ill judge you. we didn't even go to a halloween party.
theyre doing DJ Khaled impressions again...
He;s fine. He just kept saying "hurricane Gordon is coming to shore" and flexed his muscles a lot.
i am too hungover to go to class can you just call me and put it on speaker phone
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
I made out with all three roommates...I didnt realize that was actually an awkward situation.
So i think i'm going to frame my summons tickets and give them to dad as a christmas present...
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I think I fell asleep on my pizza last night. Damn, I am sauccccy.
I can’t tonight. I’ve got to see about a penis
I would totally suck a dick for some poutine right now
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