I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
I hid drinks in her bathroom closet.... like a squirrel... a squirrel who knew she was going to get cut off soon
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
They are fixing my bike for free, trying to smoke me out, and their kids keep hugging me.
No dude, I'm not naming my kid after your beard
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Megan brought her friend up last night, greeted her by drunkedly taking a piss all over her duffle bag of clothing
I got an assistant at work. First task was picking me up at a strip club. I was drunk and trying explain how it was work related
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
Pretty sure we're going to get a cease & desist notice from the Make A Wish Foundation, but until then...
So your telling me I can lick your ass but you CAN'T spend my money
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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