i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Why are you ignoring all of my texts?
The power was out.
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
I swiped a lunchable and a gatorade from my one night stand's fridge, does it count as a date now since a meal was included?
He's slept with 25.5 people. Wtf is a half?
The size of her vagina has nothing to do with the size of her heart bro
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
seis de mayo is my least favoite holiday because i usually spend it in bed sobbing over my poor life decisions from the night before.
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
Any idea why my ass cheeks are bruised again?
The fact that theyre bruised AGAIN means you're not adult enough to know why.
Yeah last night got weird fast. No lie, a kid pulled a butt-plug with a tail out of his ass.
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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