Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
let's put it this way: i'm gonna stop drinking and get a gym membership. she's that hot
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
Ethically speaking on a scale from 1 to morally wrong, how wrong would it be to give babies ambien? Hypothetically speaking.
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
There is a large, jolly black gentleman in the parking lot of my appartment complex yelling about 5am jelly doughnuts. I want to be where he's at.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
And then I cried about the Cubs for a half hour. If my dignity hadn't already been lost by that point in the night, it sure as hell was then.
Someone wrote "gnarballz" on my fridge in black marker. I'm pissed, but more concerned I slept with the one who did it
I had to rub one out before the Shabbat dinner in case I find a nice Jewish girl to fuck me in the bathroom.
Your mother would be so proud
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
Damn, I just did coke with a dude in a bathroom and after he took his dick out right in front of me and took a piss. What a power move.
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