Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
About to fuck some random fraternity guy I met at a party. I guess this would be the right time to say I don't want to be with you anymore.
Its your turn to fuck our RA next time she threatens us with an underage.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
So, I was thinking... Since this restraining order doesn't go into affect until monday, that leaves us 5 days to wreck his world.
My only regret is not throwing up on the conveyor belt in the dining hall
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Some guy Just sang about my ass on the street
It was terrible lyrics but I would have thrown my life savings into that guitar case if I had any.
Did we seriously just get into a fist fight over kit kats?
You told your family you're bi over the phone?!
We were talking about exes and it just came out....and so did I.
I swear if you laugh while im moaning i will immediately stop and go home.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
Gatorade without vodka just doesn't taste the same
eveytime i go to his house my cute clothes always get taken off what's the point of even wearing them there?
Randomize
