he kept farting in my kitchen and blaming it on the dog. then we went to wendy's and he spent twenty minutes in the bathroom. im pretty sure he shit his pants.
you should have known when you found out he drove a mini cooper not to hang out with him.
he texted me telling him i gave him the clap. but i think he gave it to me and i gave it back to him
stop calling my apartment porn island.
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
I ended up on the roof were calling it a tie
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
Leave the bottle at home cause either way I'm not taking another shot. You have no idea how long it took me to compose this text free of grammatical error.
Gold star for you, but I'm on my way and the soco is buckled in next to me. This is happening.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
No. Cease was criminally insane from birthday shots, and not a lot of women want to go home from the bar with a guy who wants to "snuggle but keep it strictly professional".
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I know we were going to go hiking today, but I don’t think I can face reality until Wednesday
you know your booty call is really trying when he offers to pay the toll for the bridge you have to cross to get to his house
I don't want to just hook up with random dudes. I've had enough bad sex to know that it's not worth hooking up with strangers
It's not?
Randomize
