I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
i stapled my math hw together with an ear ring, too ghetto?
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
$22.99 left in the bank til payday = 3($7 jack & coke) + 2($0.89 T-Bell taco) + $0.21 in case of emergency.
math is fun
I dont know whats worse: her telling me she was so drunk i was "almost sexy," the fact that even when theyre shitfaced, im just "almost sexy" to girls, or the fact that i wasnt that offended by it.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
The bad decision stars are too close to aligning to risk this tonight.
She is the Michael Jordan of blowjobs. Unfortunately, her baby sister is the Michael Jordan of baseball of blowjobs. It does not run in the family.
Can I even tell you how badly I want a day that is just on and off napping and sex with intermittent snack breaks? Because I want that day very badly.
I have never seen a more amazing text message in my entire life.
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
We are back but we are listening to stairway to heaven in my car. Amy is air drums. Be back when it's over.
Randomize
