We had to go visit his dealer in the hospital to buy some weed.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Besides the whole peeing blood for a week thing, it was the best sex of my life.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
I would take a bullet for Beyonce's baby
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
Finally better. I had to use eye makeup remover to get the purple wine stains off my lips
Bring your friend that fell asleep in the bathroom for my friend.
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
I think I may have some undocumented and undiscovered std that causes girls to go bat shit crazy. How you got it is beyond me
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
It's my day off, I'm going to Target to check out Moms in yoga pants
Yeah it got awkward when the two guys we were playing beer pong against realized that I'd hooked up with both of them. Their teamwork declined after that.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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