Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
fireball beer pong. youre missing out
how is that even possible?
ove gloves.
be there in ten.
Good thing you didnt wake up last night. Wouldve found me naked talking to my closet asking to borrow my towel.
Once you realized you couldn't finish the 30 you started walking down the street and leaving a beer in everyone's mailbox
The sweet smell of jungle juice and bad decisions is calling our name.
She just told me she's too full for a reach-around. Sad.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
What part of "he tried to put his dick in my ear" did you not understand??
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
I'm really hot. went tanning and this cheeseburger shirt like isn't breathable
He may be 6' 6" but I'm 180 lbs of pure rage and determination
There’s nothing that says motivation more than watching these little geniuses on Kids Baking Championship New Year’s Day. I’m ready to fuck shit up this year.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
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