He went soft
Wait. During?
Yeah, he was IN. MY. MOUTH.
I FOUND THE PROF I'M GOING TO FUCKKKK.
Is it possible to dent your eyeball? And how do you "accidentally" go cosmic bowling?
Note to self. Don't order a $10 bottle of wine on a 40 min flight because it seems like a good deal.
God you're perfect.
I am. So drunk right now. Good work, Frontier.
Well, I made it thru a doorway, so I think things are going good.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
As a courtesy going forward if you could not bang in my house that would be nice
Left Las Vegas at 2:30 am, woke up at 11 AM at a Barstow gas station with the Valet from Ceaser' palace snoring in the backseat and no memory of how we got there. I felt like Raoul Fucjing Duke right then and there.
I like being woken up by phone calls of you sabotaging marriages
My whole life is a joke
Yeah. I’m starting to see why you drink so much.
Stop letting me drink while doing my makeup. I think I used sharpie for eyeliner.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
Randomize
