Cool, I just put that together. I didn't know if using a tie-died sub machinegun was too crazy
dude, wtf is with her now? she has stuff up about how i am kicking her while she's down
wtf? who are you bitching about me to now?
I definitely just put my boxers on backwards.
haha now u have to piss out ur bum
we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Sometimes I wonder if my parents know that I mean horny when I say lonely.
That's the only definition of lonely that I know.
So he texted me two hours ago to tell me he just took two hits of acid. Now he's asking me if it's possible for a house to breathe.
I was ashamed to still be in my green tank this morning, but there's a guy here in full on bright green pants and a green blazer. He looks like the lucky charms guy stretched out at drunker than usual. Now, I fade into the background.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
She's been drunk for three days now
Like three straight days. 72 hours
She's been covered in glitter for the last two and somehow she found a monkey
Can we table this discussion? The roommate is out of town and I have to eat pie on the couch in my underwear.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
Randomize
