Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
dude u gotta turn down the techno when u bang that chick its creepy
you kept running across the street. everytime you made it across successfully you took something off. can't believe there were no cops around...
oh thats it?
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
open bar reception. dayglow. pray for me
He waited exactly 18 minutes to booty call me after his break up.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
I may or may not have shit out a layer of my liver after that weekend.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your list of "good ideas" thumbtacked to the lampshade last night consisted of nothing but "tampon-pen" with a note indicating that girls could then always have something to write with, even naked.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
In my defense, there are at least three ways to die doing that, and I'm still here. America, Fuck Yeah!
We just had sex on an abandoned logging road while wearing snow shoes. God bless Montana boys.
Im so unlucky if I fell in a barrel of dicks, I'd come our sucking my thumb
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