i miss you and i wish you were peeing between my legs right now. in a platonic way
I wish my period boobs were my regular boobs.
Just took my pill on time for two days in a row. I deserve a prize.
Not having phil's child is good enough.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Hey.. Here's a thought for the evening. There's only two more sleeps until I fuck you so hard my back teeth will convulse.. Here's too Tuesday! Woohooooo
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
my mom asked me why i was covered in scratches, blood, and dirt this morning..i answered "i was planking obviously" and walked away
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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