No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
He had to pee in the sink beside my head because the girl that I was taking care of was passed out on the toilet. To answer your question: yes i took a peek. Thats why we hooked up later.
Accidentally spilled a drink on her roommates skirt, offered to clean it, and got a blowjob out of the deal. Something went horribly right.
Dude I swear I heard "geet out!!!" when I went down on her. I shouldve listened.
Thanks for the drunken voicemail of bird calls. Love and miss you, too.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
So that 100 days of sobriety thing I told you about last week? Lasted all of 4 days. Fuck it, life's too short
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
The feeling are messing with the penis
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
One does not fall in love, one falls flat on the their face after leaving a bar
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
Randomize
