The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
He pulled his dick out during the Bourne Ultimatum, ruined it for me.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I think their strategy was based on people bein at a beach, seein a rainbow, and havin an orgasm at the same time.
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It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
So this is my life now? Laying in bed texting about Hulk penis?
My ex's psycho new girlfriend found my vibrator I forgot at his place. Apparently she didn't find it as funny as I did. 😂
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You took all of your clothes off and tried to seduce me and while trying to seduce me you decided you were too drunk and passed out.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
Accent: check. Hot body: check. 8" dick: check. Feeds me biscuits in bed after rampant sex: check. Should I continue with my "Why I'm not coming back to the States" List?
He makes furniture for a living and is basically a hot, younger Ron Swanson
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
He was married to his college girlfriend for 20 years. Just give him the blow job he’s been fantasizing about since last century and he’ll be wrapped around your little finger
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