We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
If i spent $300 & took that thing home i would hate myself today.
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
She tried to sit inside the drawer to my dresser and when it broke, she burst into tears calling herself fat. Too high to deal with this
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
I'm going to pretend you don't watch My Little Pony and focus on your large cock. Kay? Don't bring it up again.
I wore wrist and ankle weights while we had sex. Does that count as working out?
I'm officially no longer allowed to make any of my own decisions regarding alcohol, men, or the combination of both. Thats up to you now. Do me proud.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
He was a half hour late. His excuse was that his brother knifed him right before he was going to leave. I didn't believe him until I saw the gauze.
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