It was like what a highfive between zeus and Jesus would sound like
At least he could have found a MILF, she's a dbl bagger. No wonder he goes to counseling.
Yeah..you can't spell Prozac without Zac(h).
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
all i remember is stealing his cheesepuffs and shaving my vagina in the hotel lobby
We had a long talk in which he told me he respects me more than any other girl. 30 minutes later, I got a facial.
screw jello shots the kids from the culinary school made pudding shots with 4 loko.
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
Found your glasses drenched in ketchup on my driveway this morning
Stories of my weekends have cause divorces, are you sure you wanna hang out?
Really? And is this the kinda party we talked about earlier?
Yup. It's just me crying in a closet eating soup
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
Ok everyone, the frat server is slow because of the 11 TB of porn on there. Either clean out your partition by Sunday or it will be erased. Thanks for your help.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
if i dont text back till morning its cause i turned my phone off and changed my password to something i wont remember to stop myself from drunk texting...RESPONSIBILITY
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