I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
Dude, just got a bummer.
What??
A blow job from a homeless chick.
Does it count as a shower if I just sat in the tub singing I'm a Little Teapot?
You might not want to sit on your couch. Actually you may want to throw it away. My bad.
Give me one situation where peeing in your garage could be a bad idea
I want to make a porn site called "girls with daddy issues"
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
I've discovered the best way to avoid rehab is to not fuck fat chicks when your drunk, therefore delaying regrets and rock bottom
your the Dr. Phil in my life
Today is an unchanging day
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
I have a sixth sense for dads free balling in gym shorts
You were cuddling with an eight iron and I was eating a fajita completely ignoring your presence.
Thanks for coming over. I'm sorry everyone else was vomiting. Thank you for not vomiting. I love you.
Got lost on the way to my dealer again. He stayed on the phone with me untill i found him and then hooked it up because I got lost.. What a genuine person.
Randomize
