Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
My goal for the party is to get everyone in a diaper. Reasonable?
fuck off i hope your children turn out to be republicans
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
I don't know what you're talking about. I just drank beer out of my own bellybutton by doing a backbend and letting it run down my body.
Ugh. my cast still smells like fermenting hot tub water and bad decisions.
There is no amount of alcohol that can make me forget I had a Jimmy Kimmel sex dream
I asked the cop if I could see his dick- It's not like he could arrest me twice.
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
last night i reached the point where my boob implants paid for themselves in free drinks. to celebrate lets go out and get more free drinks tonite.
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
You're right. I woke up today with my ugly sweater still on and no pants. I'd say it was a successful night.
This is why I can't take dates to shows... I've literally made out with everyone in this band. And two of the guys in the crowd. And the bartender.
Granted every 20 shifts of working there you seem to be on par to receive some sort of racy satisfying sexual encounter which money can’t buy
Randomize
