you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
In retrospect, it was a terrible idea, going down on her with these ulcers in my mouth.
guess you're going to miss out on a groin massage and a frosty vagina
i hope whoever thought of bagged wine flip cup last night has the same hangover as me. not ok.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
that blow job was not worth the clinginess that will follow
i need to buy one of the child leashes to wear at mardi gras or else im never making it out alive
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
You should make a checklist to ensure they are quality material. Here's mine: wearing shoes, not drunk, very hot, has teeth, speaks english. You never know
First stoner thought of the day: Life would be so much better if there were more things that were biscuits and gravy flavored.
Don't stress. That was a joke. I'd trust my pets with no one else. Accidents happen. Sometimes things go smoothly when you help a neighbor out and sometimes you electrocute their fish. Life is funny that way.
I just jerked him off with one hand while holding my wine glass with the other and watching Congo. I feel like this was a preview to my married life...
You seem to be avoiding the poop question. How did you poop on your hand?
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
Remember when we thought adulthood would be different than college?
It is different. We had hopes and dreams back then. Now we're just alcoholics.
Randomize
