I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Life lesson: Don't ever put your penis in a crazy girl. Especially if she's married. And has a kid.
Anywhere you can eat green eggs and ham, you can have sex.
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
I'm talking like I woke up and her bra was spinning around caught on my ceiling fan
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
do you think a sharp knife would stab through a cheese suit?
I am truly sorry that you have to put your dog down. He was a great dog, and a great friend. I am still not showing you my tits.
Wake up. Finish House of Cards. Put on pants.
Accurate.
as much as I don't like snorting drugs, I would totally be fine with someone doing a line off my ass. that's just a whole new up
I'm high. The text bubbles floating do no justice to the underwater experiences
I'm still, like... really stoked about not having any STDs
Dude I can't beleive you didn't wake up. I literally f'd her IN THE DISHWASHER. Btw I'm pretty sure I also kinda broke the dishwasher.
Dude on the shuttle bus eating a Butterfinger and watch porn on his phone and doesn’t give a fuck who knows
We need to get on his level
Randomize
