Cab driver just said he likes mutual masturbation in the cab. Um
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
You made me wash my hair in the kitchen sink while eating bay leaves
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
Do you participate in Sunday morning booty calls?
Dammit! I didn't see this message, of course I do.
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
doing the walk of shame back to your house in nothing but a bed sheet was definitely not one of my proudest moments..
That's a good 5 hours of "I have no fucking idea what I did".
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
did you call me last night and say you were being kidnapped?
Randomize
