im surrounded by empty glasses of chocolate milk WTF
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
Leave Me Alone
At least least me cry on your voice mail
Im so excited to get permanently banned for life from all the old bars again, it is gonna be christmas after all
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
Yeah her jello shots are the next closest thing to a lethal injection. That potent.
New rule. No seeing movies about plane crashes after killer bong rips
he told me it was nice to see me not blacked out mumbling to myself in the front seat, I told him it was nice to see him not in handcuffs.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
He stopped me mid blowjob and asked me to take off my hat. He said it made him feel like Neil Young was going down on him.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
Randomize
