Raise your hand if you bought 2 annoying girls shots of water. CLOWNS.
The shirt is mine, the pants are mine, the bra not so much
Let's make jello shots for tomorrow
What's going on tomorrow?
Nothing, it's Wednesday
Dudeeeee, i ordered strippers for my party.
I ordered a moonbounce.
Fuck, you win.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
Walmart at night is scary enough without having to run into people you've slept with
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
like i literally can feel my uterus getting frustrated at me for not being pregnant.
In honor of today being Sunday I am day drinking and watching Grey's Anatomy all day. ALL DAY.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
I mean, she's batshit insane and once choked a guy with one hand but she's still MILF material in my book.
my lips are numb and my face feels like a pool. PENGUINSSSSSS
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