he just told me about his fetish for rubbing grape jelly on his penis.
Okay so if I'm going to keep referring to my hangover in the third person it needs a name.
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Give me the approximate price and I'll give you the equivalence in blowjobs.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
do i respond to the booty call for the guy with the bigger dick or the one who has the gourmet coffee i like so much? at this point i'm leading toward the coffee
Hungover playing piano at a baptism I am the PICTURE of class I feel like I should be struck by lightning
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
My vagina doesn't have a refer a friend program. You don't get $25 for getting your friend to have sex with me.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Do you think telling guys I'm majoring in magic is a good pickup line?
Randomize
