the only girl from my high schools graduating class coming to our school next year went stag to prom and still has braces...
dibs.
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
He said female orgasms are a myth and refuses to even try to give me one.
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Sat in the shower and reenacted the "Wiggle your big toe" scene from Kill Bill. THAT hungover.
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
when I die covered in cocaine, hookers, and tequila at 73 years old just remember that I once had a tweet with that many retweets
Let us bow our heads and pray that I don't throw up in the tub
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
The sad moment you remember you have no power for a week and can't flush.....
Wrong number bro but that sounds like a damn shame.
Randomize
