Tell her to GTFO!!!!! JAI HO!!!!!
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
My mom gave me a book called "why good people do bad things"
I didn't realize you were one of the "good people"
I don't remember much but I know I looked hot.
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
Well I accidentally flashed a 76 year old woman, i'm in a house full of republicans and Im almost drunk enough to give the gay rights speech so i'd say this wedding reception is going great
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
Not bad. Ran into Carlo. He shared a story about a sailor who got gonorrhea in his eye. It made me feel better about myself.
Randomize
