He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
There is a keg full of gin. THERE SHOULD NEVER EVER BE A KEG FULL OF GIN.
There is a semi-attractive guy at the door who's looking for you. Says he met you on Chatroulette. Start explaining NOW.
you better not pull some "waking up at 2 in the afternoon" shit, we have weed to smoke.
He told me that if his bed could talk, it'd write a medical journal. Guess it's too late to worry about that now.
Let's drink?
Just because it's bacon vodka doesn't mean it's for breakfast.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
He just pulled a Spanish chick using google translate!!!! We are at the bar and she speaks zero English. Hes a fucking magician!!!!!!
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
I guess I was telling girls last night that I was a virgin with terminal cancer again
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
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