I had so many friends before that round of Never Have I Ever.
he proceeded to punch 3 mailboxes in a row and when i asked him why, he said "because they were talking shit"... i need a new boyfriend. and a new life.
you are the weird ass hat to my lady gaga
bowling with tennis balls and shot glasses. whatever you dont knock down after 2 rolls, you drink.
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
I mean I'm forever immortalized as the one who puked in his dad's straw hat.
You were eating microwaved pad thai out of a solo cup with a pair of scissors....
Quick question: how long can sperm live in a rug?
maybe volvos are so family friendly and safe because they're extremely uncomfortable to get fucked on.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
I made out with him in the club and he endorsed me on Linkedin. My networking skills are off the charts.
I need to get some goddam control over my hormones
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Randomize
