but i am gonna have to have sex w/ him again to get my earrings back
redhead is getting on the bull...again red head is getting on the bull!
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
should my penis look like a turkey
I swear it started with good intentions but then my slutty side took over and we started playing strip checkers
Managed to convince my mom that I had been home for 3 hours sleeping on the couch downstairs and this t-shirt was your dads. I am SUCH a fucking boss.
He screamed "Hug me!" and dove into the bushes. How he gets laid every weekend is beyond me.
I apologize for getting really drunk, taking off my shirt, bitching someone out, crying, and breaking something at your party next weekend...
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
I can't wait for paintbang. I'm going to throw a marker at a child. There will be bail money in my backpack in m trunk. Don't use it on beer.
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Will keep you updated on the sexual orientation of my new guy
I feel like there's def a learning curve to the sex swing
I'm being hhit on by creepy guys please come one bought me a penis hat balloon animal save meeeee
Randomize
