Bridesmaid dress fitting. I look like a Weeble and Michelle looks like Malibu Barbie. I have to keep reminding myself that she has herpes so really, the playing field is more level than it might initially seem.
remember them days when you seriously wanted your mom to marry rev run and we would always talk shit about justine?
joeyyyy why you always taken cheeseburgers from me?!?!?!
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
this boner is fucking legendary. i should name it and celebrate its birthday every year
My boyfriend woke me up in the middle of the night to have sex with me right before I had sex with another guy in my dream. What a unique sixth sense his penis has.
Finally considering to keep my landing strip before I have sex.. I feel like It makes me look mature.
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
this dude just showed up to the party with a falcon
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
So good news, aparently I blacked out and tried to go in the back of the mcdonalds to thank the people for makin my fries
Used my brand new sperrys as a trash can to throw up in and woke up with someone's random key in my hair...new year new me:)
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
Randomize
